S2E01: When Someone Says It First
We’re kicking off Season Two of Hay Are We Okay? with a conversation about connection, community, and what happens when men choose to show up for one another.
When Jeremy Wiens and Ryan Pasieczka realized too many men in their community were struggling in silence, they decided to do something about it. It began as a simple idea: create a space where men can talk openly about life's challenges. That quickly grew into the Southeast Men's Group, face-to-face meetings for men, led by men, across southeastern Manitoba.
In this episode, Wiens and Pasieczka explain why they started the group, the surprise they felt when dozens of rural men showed up for the first meeting, and why each person committed to listening without judgment. The group gives men a safer space to talk, connect, and feel supported, without feeling like a burden. That face-to-face connection creates a built-in community to help navigate divorce, job loss, grief, injuries, financial stress, and pain.
“It was shocking how many people came,” said Pasieczka. “You see all these big strong guys and it was kind of hard for the first person to talk, and after that it was like you opened the floodgates.”
Whether you're looking for ways to support mental health in your own community or simply want to hear what can happen when men choose to show up for one another, this episode is a powerful reminder that creating space for connection can make a real difference.
Real the full transcript below
Jeremy Wiens 00:00
I thought your group was just a bunch of guys sitting around talking. I didn't realise how how much it is right and the impact it has.
Ryan Paczieka 00:10
My wife has her own struggles, her hard days, her good days, but I don't want to add to that as a man. So, being able to go there and unloading without it affecting your family, your dynamic. It was great.
Merle Massie 00:28
Hello, I'm Merle Massie, and this is Hay Are We Okay. Have you ever wondered what you can do to make a difference for mental health in your community? Hay Are We Okay is a podcast about ideas, stories, things that communities are doing to grow a culture of well-being. We gather stories from around the corner and around the world, regular people like you and me out there making a difference. We choose these stories because I'm a farmer and I live in rural Canada. So if I'm excited and inspired, I hope you will be too. Today on the Hay Are We Okay podcast, we're going to southern Manitoba. I was doing some investigation of what's happening in Manitoba around rural and agricultural mental health, and I came across a fascinating group called the Southeast Men's Group, and I reached out. With me today is Jeremy Wiens. Jeremy, thank you for joining us on the Hay Are We Okay podcast.
Jeremy Wiens 01:51
Hey, thanks for having me.
Merle Massie 01:54
Okay, who is Jeremy Wiens, and how did you arrive on this podcast today?
Jeremy Wiens 02:02
Jeremy Wiens? Well, I am, well, I'm just a realtor in southeast Manitoba. I've been doing that for a number of years. And a number of years back, went through a pretty rough divorce, and a few things happened there, and it was, I didn't know quite what to do with all of that. And I was looking for help, and there was just absolutely nothing available for men. There was for teens, for children, for women. There's a lot of resources out there for for addicts, for, for gambling, alcohol, drugs. Like there's a lot of stuff out there, but for men, there was just nothing. And, and I was able to get through a lot of what I was going through at that time, I always say it's by the grace of God and by just the sheer determination that something inside just had to get through it. Right? I was very depressed for a while there, and but yet I I got counselling. I was able to, I had to pay it out of pocket, and it was really expensive. And I was able to do that, and not a lot of guys are able to afford that. That's uh, it can add up pretty quickly, right? And and so a few years later, I, I ended up on town council of all things. Like, and so I should go back a little bit further. I uh, I ended up raising my three kids on my own. And so my ex left, out of the picture, gone. And I have three kids. And I had to figure out how to get my life in order first, and then how to raise kids. I um, yeah, I had kids, but I didn't really understand what it meant to be a dad. And so had to take parenting courses. Had to learn like I had to really dive in because I didn't want to be one of those, for lack of better. I didn't want to just give up and just raise them. I wanted to be more than, more than just a basic and just struggling through. Oh, this is our lot in life. It's like okay, how do we, how do we do better in life, right? And not only that, but to give my kids the opportunity to not suffer because of my mistakes. But how do we get through it better in life? And so, a couple years later, they're doing well. They even won citizenship awards for the whole school, which is phenomenal. And so they were, they've been doing really good. And I got on town council, and that led through opportunity to talk with different people, meet different people. And our MLA of our area. He asked me if I would come speak at the Manitoba legislative building, for Men's Mental Health Week that he wanted to start. And at first, I was like, "Why me? What do I have to share about this? Right?" But I like, but I've always been somebody who just okay, let's do it. Yeah, I'll I'll say yes, and then we'll figure it out later, right? And so that's exactly what happened. I said yes, and then also like the week before, I was like, I don't have a clue what I'm going to speak on, right? And, and yet I I showed up there and I had a -- I had a hotel notepad with three lines written on it and that was my speech. That's what I based it off of and when you're sitting in that, that room and there's just all these MLAs and politicians and they're like everybody's dressed up in suits and everybody's dressed up. And and they have all these notepads, they have all these papers. And I had to give a speech and I did. And it was just from the heart. It's just from, look this is my experience. And I don't have a fancy thing. Don't have a fancy degree in this. I just, this is where, this is why this is important. And it turned out to be very effective. It was great, and so even from there, a few weeks later, somebody reached out to me, Ryan, and he asked if we'd be, if we'd be willing to start a group together. So we did, and that is where Southeast Men's Group started in January 2025 was our first meeting.
Merle Massie 06:02
Now, just so we're clear, Jeremy is not working alone. The other driving force behind the Southeast Men's Group is Ryan Paczieka. I reached out to Ryan and asked how he got involved.
Ryan Paczieka 06:19
Well, I'm just your average guy. I mean, I'm a father of two. I have an awesome wife and two awesome boys. I mean, I did 15 years in the trades and had a bad accident. And I kind of was taken from my job and had to stay at home for a couple years. So I went in deep depression. So luckily, I was part of a rural fire hall. So we had a really good brotherhood that kind of kept me up. They kept visiting me, bringing me out, and kind of kept that up. And once I kind of got out of that depression and things changed, I did a lot of thinking of like, not everyone has that, so that's what kind of led me here, I guess.
Merle Massie 07:07
Ryan, when you say not everyone has that, what specifically were you talking about?
Ryan Paczieka 07:13
Yeah, like in the, it's hard to explain. Like being a rural firefighter, like you have a bond that almost no one has. Like it's a brotherhood. You're running into buildings together. Doesn't matter who you are, but we're just tied together, and it's, it's crazy. It's a it's a great feeling. I mean, if anyone, if you could get that brotherhood between others, that is almost the best feeling you could possibly get.
Merle Massie 07:47
Tell us about how you got together with Jeremy and, and where the idea came from for the Southeast Men's Group. What were you seeing out in your community?
Ryan Paczieka 07:58
Well, going through depression myself, I noticed that there isn't a lot of help. There isn't a lot of people to talk to. And when you know that you need to talk to someone, sometimes it's too late, or you have to advocate for it. And you really have to ask for help multiple times before you get it. When I was doing retraining because of my WCB claim, I took night classes, and there was a teacher, Steve Payne. He was a very big advocate for men and mental health and talking. And we were a group of just like totally different guys, but one night we just kind of started talking like about feelings and how we felt about stuff and our struggles. And it was it was wild to say the least. And I think that was the point where I'm like, you know what? I might want to start a group where guys can do that in a safe place, and we can go from there. I remember seeing Jeremy Wiens on Facebook. He did a speech at the legislature for mental health and his struggles. So I was like, I cannot do this alone, so I reached out to him, and he was all for it. Like he's a huge advocate for mental health, huge advocate for men, and so I don't think it was. It was maybe a couple days later we met, sat down for coffee, and we drew up a plan, and it's been running ever since. t's been great.
Merle Massie 09:44
Ryan and Jeremy did not set out to be "advocates for mental health", and I know you can't see me, but I put that in quotes. They're just guys who hit hard times, saw a gap, and decided to do something about it. Turns out, a lot of other guys felt the same way. Tell us about the idea behind the Southeast Men's Group, and, and tell us about that first night.
Ryan Paczieka 10:14
The first night was scary. We, we went and we kind of laid down -- we sat, and it was a lot of planning. It was finding a a place to have it, so y'know an event centre or something, and then coming up with rules on how we're going to kind of direct this group. And we were, we were set on it being a support group for men struggling with mental health and everything, but we wanted it to be a group for the guys ran by the guys. And with that direction, whatever direction the guys need, that's the direction we go. So the first night, I mean, we were, we blasted it all over Facebook, hoping that six people would show up.
Jeremy Wiens 11:05
And when the meeting time came, we had 26 guys show up, and we had we had to scramble to get more chairs out. We had to do all the, like we just weren't ready for this, right? And we didn't really know what we were going to do, even right? We just were hey, let's get together. Let's, let's, let's have these guys talk. Right, and, and we'll talk or share stories, and we'll find out what everybody wants to do, and we'll just go around the circle and ask guys, right?
Ryan Paczieka 11:34
It was shocking how many people came. And I don't have a speaking background. I'm not the greatest public speaker either, and we kind of just sat there, went around the room.
Jeremy Wiens 11:44
Ryan shared his story, I shared mine, and we just said, "well, let's go around the group and let's say what brought us here and what we'd like to get out of the group. And the guy sitting right beside me, and I didn't know him at all, and I don't think anybody else knew any of these guys. And the guy's like I, I'm dealing with suicidal thoughts and dealing with suicide. They were like, oh, like I was like sitting there. I was like, my hopefully my face didn't show it, but I was just like jaw dropped. And like whoa, this is serious. Then the next guy was depression, then isolation. And and you hear addiction, and you hear all these different things, and going through divorce, and not seeing your kids. And, and you realised very quickly, like we hit on something that was we weren't quite ready for. As rough as is to say, right? Because we didn't know what to expect, but we had guys there in a room full of 26 guys. And we had some of them breaking down because they're sharing their hard experiences of where they are in life, and they just weren't, they just needed somebody to talk to.
Ryan Paczieka 12:50
And you see all these these big, strong guys. And kind of hard for the first person to talk. And then after that, it was like, you open the floodgates. Everyone just felt like they could finally share something that they have never shared to anyone in their life.
Jeremy Wiens 13:11
That was such a humbling place to be in that room. They, there was just such a need of connection. Guys just felt alone. And and not only that, but like some of them were married, and they just felt like they couldn't share it with their their spouse, their wife. They just felt like, I just, I have to carry this. I have to. And they -- breaking that stigma of you're weak if you share. You're weak if you allow your emotions to go out. You're weak if you are are emotional at all. And they just had this place where they weren't judged. They just felt safe to share. There's just men there. And you know that if they're sharing, if they're there, that means they're there for a reason. And there was just that safety in community, and it was just something that just blew up from there.
Ryan Paczieka 14:13
And I know my personal experience. My wife has her own struggles, her hard days, her good days, but I don't want to add to that, as a man. So, being able to go there and unloading without it affecting your family, your dynamic, it was great. Pretty much from day one, we knew that we need to create a safe place where guys can talk who, just get rid of that stigma of you have to be tough, you can't cry, you just have to be that guy, that strong guy, and bottle everything down. So we just kind of, I don't know, wrote it down how we how we thought we just -- you know what? You come here. You unload. You get out what you need to get out. You celebrate what you need to celebrate, what is good in your month or your week. And just in, sit in yourself kind of a thing. So.
Merle Massie 15:15
There's something powerful about strangers coming into a room and turning it into a space where guys feel safe. Safe enough to share stuff they've been carrying alone. That's the thing. It's not about solving or fixing. It's about listening, connecting. Someone who gets it. That connection is deliberate. Can you walk us through what a Southeast Men's Group meeting sounds like? What happens?
Ryan Paczieka 15:52
Oh, we, everyone comes in around 7 o'clock. Some you get coming in a little later, so we give them a five-minute window, and then we sign in. So then any new members, I can add them to a WhatsApp group because we do have a WhatsApp group where if you're having a bad day, you share. If you're having a good day, you share. You got 70 people now in that group that are just your cheerleaders in a sense.
Jeremy Wiens 16:20
Yeah. So we have changed. We now, I guess, we've met ever since January of 2025. We've met every month in Ste. Anne. And then we are now, we've had our second one. We opened up a second chapter in Steinbach, and that's been a new, new growing excitement there. And so, what's changed is we have a little bit more structure to what we're doing. We created, I'll give you kind of a layout of the how we run it.
Merle Massie 16:49
Yes, please.
Jeremy Wiens 16:49
Yeah, yeah. So we start each meeting with going over our rules or guidelines of like, this is what we can expect. Whether it's respect, whether it's listening to each other, whether it's giving advice, we don't do that. We want, we're here to listen. We're not judging. We're, like we have ten rules that we go over. And one of the biggest ones was no bashing people, especially women. We're not here to put down women. And we're very very blunt on that. Like we don't tiptoe. So if we catch it, we shut it down immediately. This is about ownership. This is about growth. This is about us being better, not pushing blame on somebody else. And so that's kind of how we start every meeting. And so the guys already know what to expect when they come there. The new guys they learn it pretty quick, and and everybody is just, they just want to be there, so they jump on board. They, they do that right, and, and so it's not really even been -- we haven't really had much problem with any of that, right? So from there, we have a speaker that will touch on a topic. We've had anything from a number of different counsellors touch on anger, depression, and those kind of things. We've had addictions counsellors. We've had AA come out. We've had authors come out. And just recently we had the cognitive behaviour therapist, the head therapist of Manitoba, come and give a, do an hour-long lesson with us, and is actually going to be running a course with us.
Ryan Paczieka 18:24
Last night we had Tazz, Big Daddy Tazz. He's a mental health comedian and speaker. And it was awesome, him coming in. Last night we had axe throwing before the meeting, because someone offered axe throwing. So there was 20 guys throwing axes in the parking lot before, just bonding, laughing at each other, and bringing us together. So, and then after our speaker, depending on who it is, sometimes they stay, sometimes they leave, but we break out into small groups of six to eight. And we just share. If something is holding us down, if we have something to celebrate, but that's like our time to just kind of talk and let it out. Or celebrate with your buddies. So, and then we try to push a 'good of the month'. So one one good thing that just ended it off. So then you you don't want to leave sad either, right? So it's good to hear a lot of the guys have just been making so much effort to be just a better person, better dad, better husband, better friend, better just for themselves. Self-care is huge, and I think we put ourselves down a lot. So the group definitely has been working on that. Of just, I know I'm guilty of self-hate or tearing myself down, so lifting your own self up is a big part of that. And then, yeah, we, we shut her down, and then we're finding guys in the parking lot still talking to each other. And some nights it's like, hey guys, like we gotta go! But it's, it's good.
Merle Massie 20:22
That in-person meeting is just one piece. These guys are keeping the support going. You talked about the WhatsApp group and the connection that that has built. What sorts of things tend to get shared in that WhatsApp group, and how do the two pieces: the live in-person monthly meetings, and then the WhatsApp group -- how does it work together?
Ryan Paczieka 20:47
Oh well, we notify the guys if something is coming up with the upcoming meetings. But that chat is going 24-7. If you're having a hard time. Or just like a buddy shared in the chat that he just got a new job and everyone was cheering for him, kind of a thing. But we have had guys who just were done. Wanted to end it all. And they put it in chat. And luckily, some of us saw it. And for one instance, I went and I sat with a guy in the hospital till he was able to be seen. It took 15 hours, but we sat, had an awesome conversation, bonded throughout it. And I wouldn't change it for the world. But if you ever need to ask for help, that's a great place to ask because you got 70 other people who have either felt that way or care about you, so.
Merle Massie 21:47
And both of those things, and you know, and of that 70, someone might be like you, willing to show up and sit beside you.
Jeremy Wiens 21:54
Yeah, that's been the best part is we have guys who are reaching outside to each other, they're starting their own chats. They're starting their own. Hey, we're going to the gym today. Anybody want to come? Great. Then you have like two, three guys going to the gym. And, and I know I've done that before, where I'm like, hey, anybody want to go to the gym? I'm going to go at 7 o'clock tonight. And also two guys show up, and they're like, sweet, we're going to work out, right? And not even that we did anything together, but just knowing that that they're there, right? And the amount of times you see guys, hey, I'm struggling. Also, oh, I sent you a message. And you hear about these offshoot chats. You're like, good. Like, it's not all going to fall on on me and Ryan because we wouldn't be able to handle it all. But, but the guys in the group are stepping up in different ways. And that's why I always say that we don't just need guys who are down in the thick of it. We need guys who have been through it as well, that can help pull people out. And help them through that and guide them through that. Right? It's so easy to get caught up. Oh, we should only go -- I don't want to be going because then everybody's going to think I'm in the middle of something, and I'm not. Well, no, we still need guys who are on the other side of it because that, that matters to us. Because it not only helps us, but it also, it also helps them to be honest, right? When you start really going through it, or maybe you are struggling in different areas, or maybe -- or maybe you realise that hey, you went through this before, and you feel like you can actually help somebody. There's a lot of value in that too.
Merle Massie 23:28
Ryan, can you talk a little bit about your own training in terms of mental health? Is that something -- is that necessary?
Ryan Paczieka 23:37
I have taken a couple courses through Asist and stuff like that. But we're not psychologists. We're not trained mental health speakers either. The group is more of a peer support group to better yourself, to better others, but we're not there to give advice. So I find a lot of the best advice is something that you would give a friend, but not listen to yourself. So once you start talking, you find guys catch themselves, and they're like, "Oh, you know what? I should listen to myself, and normally works out, so.
Merle Massie 24:19
That peer support is so powerful, and we believe in it. This is something that the Do More Agriculture Foundation celebrates and supports and cheers on. It's one of the reasons why we reached out to the Southeast Men's Group and said we want to hear your story and we want to share it on our podcast. We think it's amazing. What, what kind of feedback are you hearing from the people who are coming to the group?
Jeremy Wiens 24:45
The best part is when we hear that they're feeling connected and they're not feeling alone. I love hearing that when, where they're going through the struggle. I had a couple guys just recently that I thought I was the only one going through X, Y, Z, and nobody would understand. And yet, I'm in a room full of 20 guys, and everybody seems to be like, "I got it. Yeah, that makes sense, right? And, and they don't, just don't feel alone. They feel part of something bigger. And then you see them step up, but like just that, that intimate connection that they have of, hey, I'm not alone in this. I can make it through this, and I could do hard things because I have this group with me. And some of them are going through very rough places, and there's no doubt about that. But they also know that they're not doing it on their own, so.
Ryan Paczieka 25:39
Some of these guys are saying this group changed their life. They wish that it happened years ago. Wish they, there was a group like this years ago that when they were really going through it, they had this. And I mean, when it comes to the public, like women are our number one supporters on Facebook. Like they're just like, oh, I, I want to send my husband to this, and it's so great you guys are doing it. So it's good to hear from the community that they're happy that we're doing this. We -- it was a hit and miss where we almost, we thought it might be like oh it's a men's group like, but our number one rule is we don't bash women in it. We're there to fix ourselves. We're there to take accountability, and yeah, you're only working on yourself. So these guys are just excited. I've had, I've had guys be like, oh, like before we had two meetings, they were asking for two meetings. They said, "Oh, I have to wait another month to come here? I look forward to this every month. So we gave them two meetings, and now they're they're packed every, every two weeks. So it's great.
Merle Massie 26:54
You've built this amazing community. What are you most proud of with the Southeast Men's Group?
Ryan Paczieka 27:02
There's a few guys that I'm I'm really proud of where you wouldn't recognise them day one to to where they are today. And I'm very proud of that. It's not because of anything I've done, but these guys have just like transformed into -- this guy who was quiet, timid. Now he's the loudest one in the room. Now he's energetic out there, and I'm just so happy when they come in the door.
Jeremy Wiens 27:33
Just this last meeting a couple nights ago, the guy said, "You know, it took me a lot of courage to come out here, and I brought two my friends, and they, they were able to come with me." And I'm like, "okay, you coming back? He's like, "Oh yeah." And I talked to the friend later, and he's like, "is it all right if I come back too? Or he's like, "I just, I never knew something like this existed." I'm like, yeah, absolutely, right. So, so not that he was in a down and out way, but like just that the fact that guys are finding a way to show up for each other. And, and grow together, and and just you know making an impact on community and on our world around us, right?
Merle Massie 28:16
It's funny how helping someone else kind of changes us too. How has being a lead on the Southeast Men's Group, identifying this need, creating this space, helping to shape this space, watching it grow, how has that impacted you?
Ryan Paczieka 28:36
I think I've become a better husband, better, better father, kind of hearing everyone else's stories, just you learn from it every time. You also listen to your advice a little bit more. Like you kind of sit into yourself. Like I had all the right answers for all these guys. But I still yelled at my kids, or I still did this, or had no self confidence, or. And it took hearing it out of my mouth to actually listen to it, so it was good. Yeah, I'd say probably better person in general, but better to my wife and kids.
Jeremy Wiens 29:20
My son, he's 20 years old. I had a phone call, and he was with me when I got it. So he could hear the phone call happening. And I won't give details of it, but it was a pretty heavy call. And he was sitting there, and after I got off the phone, he just looks at me. He's like, "Is is that what you deal with? Like, is that what you talk with guys through?" I'm like, yeah, it's part of what it is. He's like, how do you do that? And I'm like, what do, what do you mean? Like, you just talk with them. He's like, yeah, but how do you not get weighed down by that? Like, that's just so heavy. I'm like, yeah, it gets heavy at times. He's like, but whatever like, he was just kind of just working through that. I'm like, are YOU okay after that, right? And he's like, yeah, I just, I just, I never thought. He's like, I thought your group was just a bunch of guys sitting around talking. I didn't realise how much it is, right? And the impact it has. Like yeah, it can it can be pretty impactful at times. And, and then later on that evening, I just, he just came back and he's like, I just can't believe how heavy that was. And how do you carry that? How do you do that? And and so we kind of went and talked through that as well. It's like, oh, we, we we gotta, you get to learn a few things as you go. And, and but just that different level of respect of of understanding I think of oh this is a serious thing that we're doing here it's not just fun and games. It's not just guys hanging out. We're actually making an impact on guys' lives. And that was something I think for him was huge.
Merle Massie 31:03
I love that you were able to sort of shape space for your son to walk himself through that. And to think his way through that. That's important, that decompress and -- and you know, talk it out and, and process it. That's that's phenomenal. And I'm sure that he has a much different perspective of you now after hearing that conversation.
Jeremy Wiens 31:23
Oh yeah, and that's -- we're not professionals at all. We're not. We don't even. But we try to bring in speakers that are professionals, and then when we get to small groups, it's just, it's guys. And hanging out and talking and going through life.
Merle Massie 31:40
If someone's listening to you right now, Jeremy, and they might have one of two questions. If they're in south-east Manitoba, they might want to know how can they get involved in this group. And then, what if they're in B.C. or they're in Prince Edward Island and they're listening? What advice might you give to them if they're looking to start a group, something like this?
Jeremy Wiens 32:02
Well, first and foremost, reach out. We, we are very open to conversation to helping people start this. This is not a oh we're going to keep it closed because we're small. Like we, this is not about us. This is about actually getting the word out that we need to actually have conversations. We want actually men to be able to get help, and we want that to be a normal thing.
Ryan Paczieka 32:24
They could reach out on Facebook under Southeast Men's Group. Or they can reach us at our web page, which is southeastmensgroup.ca. We answer all our emails, whether it's someone struggling but doesn't want to come in. We also meet with them for coffee if they want to meet with us before they come to a group. Just sometimes it's a little easier. But I'm always willing to have a conversation. Always willing to have a chat if anyone wants to better the world by doing something like that? I'm all for it. I will take as much time as possible to make sure that they could do that. If they are going to start their own group, I mean, reach out. I'll, I'll tell you everything that I know. But I'm not -- I don't have all the answers. But having rules in place is a big thing. Don't commit unless you're willing to be in both feet, because you don't want to start something. And then have it be great, but you don't have time to do it.
Jeremy Wiens 33:29
You got to be willing to be open. If you're going to keep your cards close to your chest and hope everybody else is open, they're not going to be. You, you got to be able to expose yourself a little bit, which is very humbling when you're telling people this is my struggle, this is my pain, and this is what I'm going through. And knowing full well that there's a good majority of people that will judge you according, like according to that. That they're going to think this or that of you, and you're going to walk out into the street, and you're gonna, you don't know who's gonna know that. But they're gonna think they might have an opinion of you one way or the other. But generally, thankfully, most of them are, are online, and you just ignore them. The ones that I talk to in person, they've always been amazing and just very encouraging
Merle Massie 34:21
And supportive. Do you think that the conversation around mental health, mental health for men, or mental health in general? How have you seen it changing in the last, I don't know, eight, ten years?
Jeremy Wiens 34:33
It's slowly progressing. It, like, ten years ago, I could take parenting courses. I could take courses on this and that. But there's never anything about dads or men in general. Now, and surrounding myself in this field, you're seeing it start to come. But there's still not a lot for men. Honestly, there's still like if if I'm looking for different men's groups out here, there's nothing. We're kind of an odd, odd breed there with that, right?
Merle Massie 35:05
It's called groundbreaking, not odd. Groundbreaking,
Jeremy Wiens 35:09
Right? Yeah, groundbreaking. We'll go with that. That sounds better. But I've reached out to different groups elsewhere, and they're just not answering. They're not, I don't know if they're just not going anymore or what, but maybe I think people have started in the past and just stopped. There was a lot of people that said when we started this, it was like, "Oh, I had that idea too. I'm like, "Great, why didn't you do it?" Right? Like, and, and but then oh, we didn't know where to start. Like me neither, but like here we are, right? And, and just take that initiative, and that's the same thing as anybody looking to start is if you're waiting for somebody else to do it, like you're gonna be, you could be waiting a long time. You have the option. You have the opportunity. You don't need a big following. You don't need a big anything. You just need to be there, show up, and present a safe space.
Merle Massie 35:58
Shape that space and invite guys in.
Jeremy Wiens 36:01
Yeah.
Ryan Paczieka 36:02
if if you are listening and you're going through it, or you just haven't reached out to anyone or anything like that, like you don't have to suffer alone. There is probably every guy in your friend group is dealing with the same thing. They just don't say it either. And you'd be surprised once you do speak up, how many other people talk. And that's what I noticed in the first meeting, and that's what I've seen since is once you say, "hey, this how I've been feeling", you have 20 other guys saying, "oh, you know, I -- that's how I feel. I just don't tell anyone." So it's a lot easier to fix yourself with a community behind you than doing it by yourself.
Merle Massie 36:52
You know, I think we might just steal that. It's a lot easier to fix yourself when there's a community behind you. That is almost the motto of the Do More Agriculture Foundation. None of us should be walking alone. I, I'm so grateful that you were able to come and join me and and share some of these thoughts.
Ryan Paczieka 37:13
Oh, thank you so much for having me. I, I hope it gets out. And, and everyone just takes a second to figure that they can talk about their mental health, and the stigma slowly disappears. Because yeah, it's okay not to be okay. That's what we push.
Merle Massie 37:33
Talking about it makes all the difference.
Jeremy Wiens 37:35
Yeah, not, nothing fancy, so. Thank you.
Merle Massie 37:39
Jeremy Wiens and Ryan Paczieka live in southern Manitoba. They hold Southeast Men's Group meetings in Steinbach and Ste. Anne. There's a link in our show notes to get in touch with them. And remember, Jeremy and Ryan prove sometimes you just need someone willing to open a conversation. Ask who else needs this, and build those safe places one conversation at a time. And once you have a safe place to show up, listen, and be heard, that changes lives. I hope you enjoyed that conversation, and that you came away nodding your head, filled with a new idea, something that you can try in your own community. If you know someone who should hear this episode send them the link and leave us a review. Farming is not always easy, but I love hearing your stories about the things you do just for fun on your farm. That playful stuff that makes living out here fun, whimsical, silly. This voice note just arrived at feedback@domore.ag.
Shauna Percy 39:10
I'm Shauna Percy, and I'm calling in to share what my fun on the farm thing is. There's actually so many things that come to mind, but the first thing that came to mind, other than our turkey Rosie, was the yurt that we installed so that we can have a staycation. I will say it was not easy to instal the yurt. It it was so much harder than we thought. We watched so many tutorials and we're like, we've got this. But it just, eventually my husband, which I find this so funny. He was like, "I get that you're supposed to be able to just put this up and take it down and whatever, but like, I have tools, and so I'm just gonna like screw things into place because it is just not working properly. Otherwise." It's also really special because there was another farmer who lived five and a half hours away. He and his wife drove the yurt to us, and it was right before we got sheep. And when they came to the farm, we learned that she was a shepherdess, and we had so many questions, and we were so worried about do we get into sheep or not. And she really put our minds at ease, and so we think of them fondly. And now that the yurt is up, we are having a lot of, like making new memories in it. And having a good time. And we're so, so thankful that, that we -- we made the push to get it done. Because it is definitely a big component of us feeling like we can get away every now and again, even though we're still on the farm.
Merle Massie 40:59
I love that. Screw down that yurt. It's not going anywhere. Thanks, Shauna. Over to you. How do you make life more fun on your farm? Send your story to feedback@domore.ag. Hay Are We Okay is brought to you by the Do More Agriculture Foundation, with generous support from the Agco Foundation. Want to get in touch? Email feedback@domore.ag. That's feedback at domore.ag. I'm Merle Massie. Together, let's cultivate a culture where we ask, "Hey, are we okay?" And then do the things that help us say yes, we ARE okay. Because together is a good place to be.