001: I Am Enough

When Sherry Garner unraveled, she didn't know where to turn for help. No one talked about mental illness when she was growing up on a dairy farm in rural Ontario.

As she rebuilt her life and story, she drew on her love of music and theatre to heal, and found the resources she needed for the journey. In the process, Garner became the visionary behind Coffee Talk Theatre Productions and the one woman show I Am Enough.

Using storytelling and song, Garner entertains while opening rural audiences to tough conversations. I Am Enough opens the floor to questions and connects the audience to support and resources.

Merle spoke with Sherry Garner and traveled to Embro, Ontario, where the community embraced the show and built a whole weekend dedicated to mental health, connection, and hope.

We’ve included the full transcript below.

Podcast Transcript: Sherry Garner | I Am Enough

[00:00:00] Merle Massie: Oh, hey, I'm so glad you're here. Come on in.

This is, Hay Are We Okay? A podcast where we celebrate how farm communities inspire conversation and action for mental health.

[00:00:24] I'm Merle Massie, executive director of The Do More Agriculture Foundation and a farmer in west central Saskatchewan. There's lots of podcasts out there about mental health, and you're gonna find one of two things. They're either people telling their individual stories about their own mental health journey, which is awesome, they're fantastic, go listen. 

Or they're interviewing people like therapists and specialists and researchers. This podcast is not that. This podcast is all about giving ideas. 

[00:01:00] We're deliberately talking to people in rural and small town communities who are shaping space for the conversation about mental health, because here's the thing, those other podcasts, those are things that you can do individually, by yourself, as if the problem is your own to fix.

[00:01:20] That you have to do the work yourself. You need to go to therapy, you need to go get help, you need to call the call line. It makes it seem like you’re the only one responsible, that you have to do it all by yourself. What I know is that the more people you have around you, the more people who are willing to walk with you and support you and cheer you on and bring you casseroles and come and help you with harvest and mow your lawn and take you to the doctor and just send you a text and cheer you on, the better.

[00:02:03] That's what community is all about. And I know that rural communities are absolutely the best place to help one another out. I'm so glad you're here. This is, Hay Are We Okay? And the word that matters there is we.

[00:02:28] [Theatre introduction]: So hold onto your hats folks because you are about to meet my brave, talented, courageous, and amazing friend in all her beautiful glory. And without further ado, Oxford County, I give you the exceptional, talented, and homegrown Sherry Garner.

[00:02:55] Sherry Garner: Right?

No I don’t need a one and only baby not at the stage. Where you’ll be attending.

[00:03:04] My name is Sherry Garner. I am the founder, creator of this company called Coffee Talk Theater Productions and my family grew up, we were farm kids, right? We grew up on the farm, sitting around the piano. My grandma was a matriarch. She was the head of the choir, you know, between milking the cows, we were singing around the piano.

We even produced an entirely garner version of the Sound of Music. I laugh because my Grandpa Garner was a certified master breeder. Holstein Cattle Master breeder. Right?

[00:03:38] Sherry Garner: But he created this choir, and they created, excuse me, he wasn't alone, we know that, they created the Spectacular Choir of Farmers and they taught us to sing and we, I and many of us, several of us went on to become professional musical theater performers.

[00:04:00] I do not need a song on vow, just a loaf of bread and wine and now, and maybe jump. This will stop the panic. This will keep me going.

When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder back in 2019, one of the things that I struggled with was coming back to singing again and when I turned, so 2019 was my, was my big bang I call it.

[00:04:28] But what happened was, through my recovery, I started working on a one woman show and I found that getting back on track and helping myself sing, learn to sing again, get back to my beginnings. Well, I developed into a show and I presented it for my 50th birthday, and from there the idea just blossomed.

[00:04:54]  Hi, energetic, feeling super human doing, being highly productive, 23 hours a day, not requiring any sleep.
And the next day I would crash. Unable to cope with the smallest task. Sleeping. My husband urged me to get help, but I didn't hear the pleading. All I heard was an accusation that I was failing our family, that I was not enough.

[00:05:30] And eventually a deep irreparable chasm developed between us. It started out so well when we were just beginning gracious and considerate, and worry free.

[00:05:55] Merle Massie: I went to Embro, Ontario for the weekend to watch I Am Enough in person. What I saw was not just a musical production. What I saw was a whole community coming together to shape an entire space for mental health. I was so excited. I wanted to reach out to Sherry herself and talk to her a little bit more about what it looked like. 

[00:06:25] Merle Massie: Sherry, thank you so much for joining us and welcome to the podcast. Hello.

Sherry Garner: Hi, Merle. Nice to meet you. Nice to see you. 

Merle Massie: So if I was an audience member and I walked in and I saw that there was a screening of I Am Enough. And I walked in and I sat down. Tell us what we're going to see.

[00:06:45] Sherry Garner: You’re gonna see a musical theater presentation, a one woman show. From the childhood beginning of growing up on a small farm in the middle of nowhere and learning to sing and feeling like an outcast in that environment to growing and following her dreams, and then to becoming a mother and going through all of life's challenges to then becoming diagnosed with a mental health disorder. 

[00:07:17] And then, like in any good musical, there's always a crash and there's always a de nu mont or like an agreement. And so you'd find the whole thing, and that would happen in the first half of it. And then in the second half, what you would find is that during my recovery, one of the most important things for me, Merle, was not just that I would just entertain people with my story, that I would provide them with a lesson of hope.

It was that I would, in that moment, provide an opportunity for them to connect to services so that they could get help because that's the difficult part. It's the difficult part about somebody, I wanted to turn on people's engagement. I wanted them to feel like they too could either reach out for help or find help for someone.

[00:08:01] But we know the stats are one in two people will be experiencing this kind of a breakdown that I was experiencing and that I experience on stage for you.

But in that second half, what you get is a magical experience. You get an opportunity to open up to our coffee talk, where we sit down and we open up to the audience and we say, okay, here are some mental health experts in your community. Here are some people who will link you to the resources you need, so you too can be like Sherry, be a story of triumph.

[00:08:34] Merle Massie: That is just phenomenal. In terms of your, the storytelling and the musical theater, walk us through that. 

[00:08:42] Sherry Garner: Oh, well, it's been, it's exciting because like every crafted musical or crafted production or theater piece, it takes years to figure out what the exactly you're gonna say, what exactly works properly. 

[00:09:01] And because my love language is musical theater and some of the most popular musicals out there right now, let's just take, well, my favorite, the Sound of Music or let's say Wicked or, or Hamilton, some of the kids will know of those shows, right?

[00:09:15] Sherry Garner: The thing about musical theater is it uses things like underscoring, the music underneath.

And it uses songs that we have had written that take the story, my story, and compel it and take it even further into the music. So from the beginning, it's just the center stage, me piano, and a stool and a mic, and that's all it is. I used to have backup singers, but you know, in the end, Merle, I'm enough, right?

[00:09:41] Sherry Benson: That's the name of my show, it’s called I Am Enough. So I realized it is a one woman story until, as we go through my story, and we talk about growing up on the farm, learning my mental health programming, you know, learning how to express myself, learning how to work hard, and just growing up in that beautiful environment, this bucolic world.

[00:10:06] But also growing up not understanding how to express my feelings. And I found that through theater. So, I sing everything from The Sound of Music to The Chicks. I pull out some country songs there. But also mostly what we do is we take music that we've had written for the show and it takes the story to the next level and we hope, and what we've designed it.

[00:10:34] We've worked really closely with the Canadian Mental Health Association with some really wonderful experts to help drop the hints. So that as the audience is watching my show, they're also watching me unravel. They're saying, oh, oh, oh, oh, yep, I hear her story, but uh oh, I'm watching her, she's unraveling, oh, I can see it until you see me collapse at the end of my show, pick up the pieces in real time and then put it back together all through music. This creation of my show is as much my therapy as it is therapy for someone else anyway. 

[00:11:15] Sherry Garner: It's all to help us make this big leap, you know, bringing theater and mental health awareness and mental health advocacy together that we're one and the same.

[00:11:28] Merle Massie: And that's exactly where I'd like to go next. So you have this wonderful show, I am Enough. All the musical theater, you dropped the floor, you come back up, you show the journey of recovery, the show ends, but the show does not end. What happened then?

[00:11:48] Sherry Garner: The show doesn't end. I believe we have a responsibility in that moment. We've cracked open the hearts of the audience, and we have a responsibility to make sure that they have a safe space and that they have tools to take them home. 

[00:12:02] So with humour and with grace, and with joy, I say to them, the show does not end here. The conversation has just begun, and now we are going to turn it over to a group of professionals that can then link them directly in that moment, to services, to an answer, to answer a question, to remind them that they are enough.

[00:12:28] This panel is as important as the first half in my production, and that's because I feel, deep in my heart that that's my journey, and that's the most important piece. So we then have this wonderful conversation and we ask questions of the people who right then and there, Hey, listen, and one of the key questions I like to ask my panel to get started is just simply, Hey, someone's listened to me in this room. 

[00:13:00] They've heard my story, they realize they are in crisis. What now? Where do they go? Where do they go in that moment? And live right there we have that panel answer that question so that they have, they have somebody who's broken the ice for them, but there's always lots of people who end up getting together and ready to ask a question in the end.

[00:13:26] Merle Massie: I think that that piece is amazing and that you had all kinds of audience questions, it was fantastic. And there was more. There was more going on. Sherry, could you tell us about the other pieces? What else was happening that you and the Embro community built around your musical theater production?

[00:13:47] Sherry Garner: It was thrilling.

Okay. It's always been my brainchild for Coffee Talk Theater Productions that when we come to town with I Am Enough, it's like the circus comes to town, the mental health fair comes to town, you know, like an old fashioned fair because at the end of the day, we can change that individual, but what also happens is that's so exciting.

[00:14:10] Let's see. We can offer them the opportunity to, in real time, to meet some of the mental health experts, but what about some of this self-care and some of the fantastic, community wellness opportunities that already exist. 

That if we are going to change the stigma, if we're gonna really change and create change in a community, it's about engaging every organization that has the little key piece. 

[00:14:41] So we would have the show on the Friday at the town hall, the local town hall, again at the heart of the village. And then after the town hall, we walk across the street to the Legion because that's again, the heart of the village where a lot of the communication happens. And at the Legion, all the perimeter of the Legion was lined with booths from all the different mental health organizations in the community. 

[00:15:06] But not only that, what was really important to me was to have community organizations, the local agricultural association, the local ball clubs, the Legion, anyone who provided some sort of community involvement, because we know that you feel down and out and you feel alone. You need to get out and get involved. 

[00:15:30] I think we had a whole group of women and men from the United Church open their doors and create this beautiful array of food and snacks and waters and teas and coffees. And then people showed up and they did yoga in the morning. And then we had a local woman who does guided journaling and she did a guided journaling workshop. So people moved to that. 

[00:15:57] And then we had somebody do a workshop that was guided intuitive painting. So taking your emotions and painting and getting in touch with other sides of yourself. Again, these were all local practitioners, local people. Who's in your community that can provide you something else?

And then in the afternoon, we had a phenomenal woman do a grief counseling session. Again, another local psychotherapist, Amy Hartel. She, just bringing in the community and what was really important to the people at the church to remind people that the church was a place of community for all people.

[00:16:36] Whether or not you are spiritually attuned or spiritually aligned with the church's ideals, it doesn't matter. We have a building that provides community. The Legion has a building that provides community, and together they all came together and it was, mind blowing. And there was just this, you know, we just, this dream that I've had Merle, and it all came true and it's going to come true again. And it's just, it was really, really special.

[00:17:04] Merle Massie: What do you mean when you say you're going to do it again?

[00:17:08] Sherry Garner: This is thrilling. So two things are happening. It's always been my dream to take this format and take it on the road. But what's more exciting is that we are partnering with two very dynamic, phenomenal theater companies here in Ontario.

We are working with Theatre of Orangeville and we are working with the Foster Festival in the Niagara region, in St. Catharines’ region. What we are doing here is to bring the circus to town,  for arts organizations, for mental health organizations, for community organizations to come together, to galvanize together, to create community answers and together open their doors so that we know where the soft places to land can be.

[00:17:58]  And that's what the show does. It hopefully will crack the audience open, right? And allow them to find their answers and then hopefully find their community. That's the goal. That's Coffee Talk Theater Productions in a niche.

[00:18:14] Merle Massie: I love that you have plans to take this forward, to take, to move it around, to try again or not just to try again to, to succeed again.

What I saw when I was in the audience at Embro was that pivot moment. Exactly that, cracking open the audience, and then keeping them there so that they were able to think through what are the next steps? If you know someone who needs these sorts of supports, if this show brings you a sense of recognition, if there's something about the show that allows you to think through what it looks like to have a mental health crisis, to require or maybe be in a space to benefit from some additional supports. 

[00:19:00] What do you do? Where do you go? What does that look like? Because so many people, particularly in rural and agricultural communities, may not know what the next steps are. What's your process?

[00:19:14] Sherry Garner: It's very important, right?

It's this kind of conversation could go south. It could be very difficult for many people. So we have highly trained professionals. We work with the community for months before we enter the community, and we get to know, who are the key players? There is continuity. Canadian Mental Health Association has continuity. We know that.

[00:19:37] But I am also learning that every region is very different. Every region manages their mental health programming very differently. So how do we connect people to their story and then to where to get help? Well we have this beautiful opportunity as theater artists. Theater is the heartbeat of our community, and here's why.

[00:20:00] Even if you think of the smallest rural community, my life hasn't been changed because I played Maria on a major stage. My life was changed because I spent my childhood and my youth escaping my sadness and escaping all the things going on in my life by being in the local community theater. That taught me so much about teamwork and joy and love and fun.

[00:20:25] And I swear that's what saved my life, and that's what gave me the foundation to become who I am today, the creativity. And it probably helped me find a pathway from a child who could have been, had a very different outcome with a mental health disorder. And I think what's so exciting is, for example, you talk about me being in my beloved Embro.

[00:20:48] Well, yes, Embro has its own thistle theater. It has its community theater. The point of bringing my show and bringing this in is that we tap into the existing infrastructure of the theater saying, you have the ears and the eyes of your community. Now here's your story. Let's get on stage. Let's present something together.

Let's ask the questions and let's link your mental health resources together. And it's just such a beautiful relationship because we're asking the same thing.

[00:21:30] One in two people will have a mental health breakdown before the age of 40. And so when you look at that stat, everyone's been touched in some way. Now, you don't necessarily have to have a mental health crisis and end up in the hospital to have a mental health crisis, but to have had a breakdown, to have had a transformational change in your mental health that has caused you to drastically change your life before the age of 40, that's that's not a surprising statistic.

[00:22:03] Merle Massie: Let's imagine that I'm a rural community somewhere in Canada, and I want to bring your show to our town. How do we make that happen? And how much money do we need? 

[00:22:16] Sherry Garner: Oh, wonderful. Okay. Very good question. It ranges, it really does range in price and how much, where we're going, obviously how much travel, that cost is a variable.

But if I look at the cost and putting on a whole weekend like we did, it could be around, I like to say, around the $20,000 market. And you, I know that sounds high and, and it sounds like what, that's a lot of money. But we work with you to bring in all of the different aspects working together. So what we're trying to help you budget for are things like insurance, things like sound, things like all the things that you need.

[00:22:57] And one of the things that we found bringing it into Embro was that, because we bring this concept of the whole weekend, we also were able to really work with local businesses, local funders, and people were so excited to come forward and help give sponsorship, give to the campaign. And that's almost over 50% of our costs were covered through just local engagement and advertisement in the program.

[00:23:29] Merle Massie: I think that that's phenomenal and that gives a community sort of a round number to aim for. So then would they raise that through donations? Would they raise that through grants? 

[00:23:43] Sherry Garner: I think it’s a combination of all the above.

And don't be afraid. And I say I think it is a combination and also through ticket sales. Ticket sales are important. It's funny when people give, they give to the ticket sales. What we try to do is cover all our costs before we get there, so the ticket sales become gravy and that becomes part of our giving back to the community.

[00:24:05] But, yes we apply for government grants. We apply, we go out into the community and share the vision and we help them work within each organization. Because we're bringing in the arts and mental health and honestly, tourism too. Tourism because you're bringing in an opportunity to travel in tourism.

There are grants and there are opportunities with the local business associations, with the local associations to bring that community together. And often businesses will want to have their names on this project. It's a very high profile project, so, I know the $20,000 sounds like a lot of money, but at the end of the day, it's not, it’s not. We can find it, I promise you. It works out.

[00:24:54] Sherry Garner: And the other thing is we try really hard to keep our costs as low as possible. And what we found is this is more of an opportunity for a fundraiser, if anything.

[00:25:07] Merle Massie: And that's brilliant and wrapping it all together. I love how you framed that it is more than just musical theater, bringing in the theater community.

It also accesses anything around mental health, around tourism, also around community. So that brings in all kinds of places where people could come in and bring support. I think that, I'm sure that there will be listeners whose brains are popping with ideas of how they can bring you in, and I think that that's brilliant.

[00:25:35] Sherry Garner: And please check out my website. It's Coffee Talk Theatre, Theatre spelled RE the Canadian way, .com, coffeetalktheatere.com. And just contact me. Hey, I got lots of ideas, we will help you figure this out. I feel like let's not let money be what stops us from starting a conversation together. 

[00:25:58] And I think what's really important is not shying away from going out and actually fundraising because they'll say no, but then you ask them to just buy a ticket, because they won't, do you know what I mean? Like, it's always like that ask, it's the sales, it's not so much. Or they say yes, then they say, oh, I'm, I'm suddenly, I'm, I'm, I'm supporting this. I guess we better go see what it's all about. And it just makes them do it. And then suddenly they’re trapped.

[00:26:30] Sherry Benson: And they said they get to hear some good singing and then we make them talk about mental health.

[00:26:36] Merle Massie: Absolutely. You know, that's very, very helpful. Sherry, thank you so much for joining us on the podcast. It's been an absolute joy to spend time with you and learn about I Am Enough.

[00:26:50] Sherry Garner: Merle, it has been a dream come true. Thank you so much. You have. You're wonderful.

[00:26:58] Merle Massie: I dunno if I'm wonderful, but

[00:26: 05] Sherry Garner has more talent in her baby finger than I would have in my body across my whole lifetime. She's phenomenal. But what I saw in Embro was a whole community coming together deliberately to shape space for the conversation about mental health, and it was beautiful.

[00:27:33] When it comes to mental health and agriculture, I know because you're here listening to this podcast, that you've probably heard all those scary statistics and they are scary. What I also know is that there's a lot going on in agriculture that's a whole lot of fun. We stay farming because we love it, and there's things that we can do on our farms that make it so much better, so much more fun.

[00:28:06] I would love to hear your stories of the things that you do on your farm. Just for fun, just for you, have you created a meditation garden? Have you built a walking labyrinth? I did that. It was lots of fun. Maybe you go skating on your pond in the winter. Maybe you make cross country ski trails. Maybe you go downhill skiing.

[00:28:28] Do you have a Cooley? Do you go downhill skiing? I have a brother-in-law who did that. Looked like a great time. What do you do on your farm that's just for fun? That's just for you. Tell us about it here at Do More Egg. Info@domore.ag, and if you'd just like to tell me your story in your own words, take your phone, hit record on your voice memos and send it to us info@domore.ag and tell us your story.

[00:29:09] Hey, did something in today's podcast spark ideas in your brain? Share Hay Are We Okay? with a friend and spark the conversation together. Only then will we change the conversation for mental health.

Thanks to our sponsors, the AGCO Foundation, celebrating and championing mental health and agriculture.

I've loved being here with you. I've learned so much. This has been great and I gotta go. I'm Merle Massie and I'm a farmer. I got things to do. I got a garden to weed. I've got things to go bake. I've got people to feed, I've got parts to go get, I gotta go.

[00:30:00]  Thanks a lot. Catch you next time.
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